Finding a family (Erin Kidfic)
by NCISfan1509
Summary: This is a kidfic with Erin and Jay. Hank rescues them. How will Erin's life be different if Hank rescues her at age 5 instead of 14? AU for the fact that Erin and Jay are kids and Justin doesn't exist.
1. Chapter 1

I do not own Chicago PD I simply enjoy dreaming with their characters. This story is AU in the fact that Erin and Jay are kids and Hank rescues them.

Hank

I nod at Olinsky to bust down the door. We had gotten a tip about children being held at this location and I wasn't waiting around for permission to make sure those kids are safe. I walk in to see a woman with blond hair sitting on the couch among all sorts of alcohol bottles. I nod at an officer to wake her up and I head to check out the rest of the house. I find nothing, but then I see a padlock on a narrow door.

"Olinsky. In here." I call out, weapon drawn. Alvin grabs a crow bar and pops the lock off. Following me down the stairwell, I hear a whimper. I race across the basement and I hear a second voice shushing the first. So at least two kids, possibly more. I pry open the door and see a tiny five year old girl shielding a boy. It is a sight for sore eyes, the small girl who has to be a whopping forty pounds soaking wet has her hands on her hips and her chin lifted in the air in defiance. She is small and at first glance looks no older than four. The boy has to be at least a year older than her, but obviously she is the woman in charge.

"You take one more step towards us and I will kick your butt." Her voice growls at me and I am blown away by the guts of this kid.

"Calm down, kid. We are the police. We are here to help." I say, holding up my badge for her to see. She eyes me for a moment and then inches forward enough to reach out and snatch the badge out of my hand. She studies it and hands it back to me.

"Well, it sure took you long enough." She says, folding her arms across her chest.

"Come on, kid. Come with us. You'll be safe." I hold out my hand to her and she studies me for a moment. This kid has spunk, I will give her that. After a few minutes, she gives a small nod and walks right past me out the door. Who is this kid? She is all tough until the moment we hit the top of the stairs. The drunk blond is stumbling in the cuffs the uniform has placed on her and she locks eyes with the girl.

"Erin! What did you do? Did you call the cops on me, huh? On him? He will hunt you down." As the woman is screaming, I yell for the rookie to get her out of here. Erin, the girl who was Braveheart a moment before is now a cowering mess of a five year old kid. I squat down in front of her and hold her by the arms.

"Hey. What's going on, kid?" I ask, looking her in the eyes. I see none of the defiant braveness that was there not five minutes before. I see genuine fear. What has this poor kid gone through?

"I'm fine." She says, looking away from me and crossing her arms. "Is Jay okay?" Jay must be the other boy she was protecting.

"Yea, my partner's got him. You're safe now. Come on. My name is Hank." I reach out my hand and wait for her to place her hand in mine. When she does, I lead her to my car. When we get to the squad room I sit her in my office. I take a good look at this kid. She is something else. Her light brown hair looks like it hasn't been washed in weeks. Her green eyes look like they have seen as much in her five years as I have in 20 years with the department. I get her a candy bar and a water bottle and its gone ten seconds later. How long has it been since this kid has eaten? I feel the buzz of my phone in my pocket and lift it to my ear. I nod as Olinsky's voice tells me that the boy, Jay, was pretty badly beaten up and they took him to chicago med. She has bruises on her face, neck, arms, and legs. Her shorts are torn and her tank top is little more than rags. Her eyes, wild with defiance are also masking fear. I kneel down in front of her.

"Kid, Erin is it?" I ask and she nods. "Can you tell me how you got these bruises?" I ask as gently as I can, which for me is a great effort. She gives me a look that says I must not be as smart as she originally thought.

"From my father." She says with a shrug of her shoulders. As if this is normal. As if this is what every five year old looks like. Wait, is she really only five?

"How old are you?" I ask.

"Five and a half." She responds and I want to chuckle as she puffs up her chest and tries to grow a few inches. This kid has spunk, I will give her that.

"Ok, you sit tight. Stay here and I will be back in a little bit." I give her a bag of chips from the cabinet and leave the room. I go out to get an update on where we are with this case.

"Where are we?" I bark into my squadroom.

"The girls name is Erin Lindsay." Antonio begins, taping a picture of Erin to the board. Then pointing at the next picture, "Mother that we just booked is named Bunny. Mom was eager to tell us that Erin's father is the one that is using the kids as a punching bag. She is so wacked out on drugs and alcohol that it will take months to get her clean. Neighbors say that Erin takes care of Jay and the day to day house stuff. They say she is the one who takes the trash out, plays with Jay outside, makes sure they get to school. I guess even though he is older, he is usually beat up more so Erin tries to take care of him."

"How old is Jay."

"He is six. Birthday is in a few months." Antonio says. I can tell this case is hitting him hard. He has two young kids and the cases involving children are always hardest for him.

"Do you want me to call CPS, boss?" Atwater says, picking up his phone.

"No." I state firmly. "She stays with us for now until we know she is safe. What is the update on her brother?"

"Doctors say he will need observation for a few days. There were several older injuries that have not healed well under the circumstances."

"Ok, well for now, Erin will be staying with me. Consider her in protective custody." I say, my voice daring them to argue with me. No one does.

Erin

I sit in this room, eating the chips that Hank gave me. I haven't eaten since I ate lunch at school yesterday. I really don't like Fridays. Fridays mean that I will have to go all weekend and then until breakfast at school on Monday until I can eat again. There is never any food at our house. Its hard to sneak upstairs long enough to search for food in the kitchen without being caught. This Hank man seems okay so far. He hasn't hurt me yet. I wonder where he will send me. I need to check on Jay. Hank said he was fine but can I trust him? Can I believe him? I see him in the other room talking to other people. It is only afternoon but I am getting sleepy. I didn't sleep last night because I was guarding Jay. He couldn't take another beating yesterday after the three he'd had in the past few days. I see Mr. Hanks coat that he laid on his desk. He seems pretty nice maybe he wont mind if I use it as a blanket to have a nap. I pick it up and look around to see if I am in trouble yet. No one comes in the door. I lay it down in the corner and curl up into a ball, pulling the other side of the jacket over me. I take a deep breath reminding myself that Hank said I was safe. I do not try to fight the sleep that overwhelms me.

Hank

I send Atwater to the hospital to check on Jay and send the rest of the team home. I go back into my office and momentarily freeze because I do not see the kid. A quick glance around reveals a snoring child curled up into a ball in the corner, wrapped neatly up in my coat. I walk over and kneel down next to her. I reach a hand out to pull the tangled mess of hair off her face. The moment my finger touches her forehead, her eyes fly open in fear, her arm whips up and smacks away my hand.

"Woah, kid, its okay. Its just me. You're safe." I say, trying to calm her. And the next thing I know she flings herself at me, wrapping her arms around me. Her sobs break my heart. This poor kid, has been so scared for God knows how long. "Come on, lets go home."

I carry her to the car and buckle her in the backseat. I would need to get her a car seat. I get her home and run a bath for her. I realize as I leave her in the bathroom that I have no clothes for her. I sigh, running a hand over my face I pull out my phone. I dial Antonio's number.

"Hey, I need a favor. I got the kid home and she is in the bathtub and I…." I begin, but he interrupts me.

"…Just realized you have no clothes for her." Antonio finishes my sentence for me. "Yea, I wondered if you would realize that." So he thinks this is funny?

"Hey!" I bark into the phone. I am not in a joking mood right now.

"Sorry, boss. I will have some right over to you." He says, ending the call.

A few minutes later I hear a voice calling for me. I go back up to the bathroom and knock on the door.

"Are you out of the tub?" I call through the door. When there is a yes hollered back in return I ask, "Are you wrapped up in the towel?" I sigh with relief when she says yes. I slowly open the door and lead her to the couch. Handing her one of my tee shirts I tell her its all I have for now. She shrugs and I turn around so she can put it on. While she is getting dressed I go to my bathroom and pull out a brush out of a drawer that I haven't seen open in some time.

I sit Erin down on the arm of the couch and begin to brush out her hair. It is painfully obvious that this kid hasn't had her hair brushed out ever. I flip on the tv and find a kid station and continue to try to gently untangle the rats in her hair. I am almost through when I hear a knock at the door. Knowing it will be Antonio, I call out letting him know to come in. I am not surprised to multiple bags and boxes in his arms. I gesture towards the hall way and I follow him to the guest room. I smile when I see Erin in the doorway. She looks so small in that tee shirt.

Antonio lays all the bags on the bed and starts pulling things out. He hands me a package of underwear and I walk to the dresser. I place all of them in the top drawer and then hand one to Erin. She runs off to the bathroom and we continue to put the rest of the clothes away. He thought of everything even shoes. He leads me out to the porch where a large box with a picture of a car seat is sitting by my front door.

"Thanks, Antonio." I say, putting a hand on his shoulder. "I knew I could count on you."

"Just take good care of her, Hank. She has been through a lot."

I go back inside to see Erin going through the drawers in the guest room. Her face is clouded with confusion.

"Hank, who is all this stuff for?" She asks, looking at the shirts piled neatly in the drawer. There clothes of all colors, pinks, purples, yellows, and reds.

"For you, kid." I say, sitting down on the edge of the bed. "You need clothes don't you?"

She nods. "I never had this many clothes before." She says simply. This many? There are only about six shirts in there. He must have bought enough to get through the week. She would need more.

"Well, you do now." I say with a smile. "Come on, lets go make dinner." She eyes me carefully. "What are you hungry for?" Iask She shrugs. I cant decide if that look is because I am offering for her to help me cook or because I am offering dinner at all. The latter thought makes me angry. I sit her up on the counter next to the sink and start pulling stuff out of the fridge.

"Ok kid, we got steak or pork chops." I say and I want to laugh at the look she gives me. She clearly has never had either of these two foods. Her confusion is evident but she is trying to hide it with a look that says I'm too cool to care. I decide to throw her a lifeline. "Well, my favorite is steak. We can have some rice and green beans with it and make it a good meal."

"Ok." She shrugs.

"You gonna help?" I ask her, handing her a pan. Turning on the faucet, I say, "Here fill this halfway up." She turns towards the water and sets the pan underneath. When it is about halfway she turns the water off. She uses both hands to try and lift the sauce pan up and about topples into the sink. I catch her and lift her onto my hip. Walking over to the table I pull a dining chair over and set it flush against the cabinets between the sink and stove. I stand her on the chair and let her try again. She lifts it easily this time and sets it on the stove. Looking at me, she waits while I turn on the stove. I place the steaks into the frying pan. I hand her a can opener and a can of green beans. She has done this before and I watch as she opens the can, dumping them into the bowl I have set on the counter. I hold out my arms and she doesn't hesitate to jump into them this time. Placing her back on my hip I put the bowl in the microwave and tell her to press three, zero, zero. Her face is beaming with a smile. She stands on the chair while I cook and for a while, there is silence. When the food is done, I lift her out of the chair and hand her two plates and a handful of silverware.

"Set the table, will ya?" I say as she takes the stack from me. She gives me a curious look. Surely the kid knows how to set the table, right? I walk over to the table and take the plates from her. "Here, I will do mine and you can do yours." I set the plate in front of my chair and put a fork on one side and a spoon on the other. Then I go get a paper towel and fold it in half and place it under my spoon. "See…thats how you set the table." She grins, then studying my place setting, does her own. We sit down to eat and I try to start getting to know this kid.

Dinner went fine. She had never had steak before. She says its her favorite now too. I sit her on the couch to watch cartoons while I pick up the kitchen. When I am done I go to turn off the tv.

"It's bedtime, kid." I say, reaching for her hand. I watch as she shivers. Bedtime must not a good time for her.

"Please don't hurt me!" She cries out.

"Erin, kid. Look at me. You are safe." I say, picking her up and holding her. "I am not going to let anything happen to you. You have my word." I feel her wrap my arms around my neck. "No one is going to hurt you here."

I put her in bed. I can see that she is tired, but I still am not sure that she believes she is safe. I watch as she tries to keep her eyes open as long as possible. I sit down next to her and start to rub her back. It doesn't take long.

"It's okay, kid. You're safe." I whisper as I stand up to leave the room.

I sit on the couch with a beer when I hear a soft knock on the door. I let Alvin in and he gets a beer out of my fridge and joins me on the couch.

"How is the girl?" He asks, taking a sip.

"She's a brave kid. Its easy to see she has been through a lot."

"Well, now she has you." He says simply and we sit in silence for awhile.

Neither of us are prepared for her piercing scream. I run up the stairs taking them two at a time. She is thrashing about on the full sized bed. Her hair is flying all around and she is kicking an imaginary opponent. I scoop her up into my arms.

"It's okay, kid. It's Hank. I'm here. You're safe." I soothe into her ear as I hold her to my chest. Her sobs are breaking me. She is still half asleep but her sobs are gut wrenching. If Alvin wasn't standing in the doorway, I'd be loosing the battle to hold back my tears.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Erin

I wake up and feel well rested for the first time ever. I feel really safe and do not remember ever feeling this way. I realize why when I look up and see Hank sound asleep sitting up against the headboard. His arm is wrapped around me and I cant believe this feeling that is creeping up inside me. Its a warm feeling, something new and different than anything I have ever felt before.

I slip out of bed and go find the bathroom. I see a basket in the bathtub. What are these doing in here? There are little round plastic fish and ducks and all kinds of animals. I wonder if these are to play with. We have toys at school in our kindergarten classroom. We have a water table with animals just like these. I wonder if I am allowed to play with them. My teacher lets me play with toys at school but I have never had a toy at home. Why would Hank have toys? I haven't gotten in trouble here yet. I turn on the water in the tub and I dump out some soap out of one of the bottles of the soap that Hank put in my hair yesterday. I noticed when he washed it out of my hair it made bubbles and I think it would be fun to take a bath in bubbles. I climb in the tub and let the water rise around me.

I take the dolphin out of the bag with holes. Raising it up in the air, I make the dolphin dive into the water. "I will get you Mr. shark." I say with a giggle as I make the dolphin chase the shark. I dump the rest of the animals into the bubbles and begin to create a story for my new aquatic friends. I make a splash that accidentally slurps out of the tub when the whale is trying to save the fish from the mouth of the shark. As a huge wave of water splashes across the floor, Hank opens the bathroom door. I realize at this moment that I must have forgotten to turn the water off. The water is cascading over the edge of the tub and there has to be two inches of water on the floor. Hank is going to kill me! I have gotten water all over the bathroom.

"I'm sorry! I forgot about the water." I cry, as he splashes across the room and turns off the faucet. "I didn't mean to make a mess." I try not to cry, but I can't help it. I feel bad about messing up his house.

"It's okay kid." He says, laying towels down on the floor. Once the floor is covered he reaches into the tub and pulls out the plug. Grabbing my arms, he lifts me up to my feet and wraps me up in a towel. "Come on, lets get you dressed."

Hank

I leave Erin in her room, wrapped in a towel with her clothes laid out on her bed. What was she thinking, leaving the water running? I realize though that she probably has never been allowed to play in the bath tub. I am finishing up mopping up the floor when a hesitant Erin appears in the doorway. I stop what I am doing and sit on the edge of the tub. I motion for her to come here and when she does I see the fear in her eyes. She thinks she is in trouble for playing in the tub. What five year old is afraid to play? I lift her up to sit on my lap.

"Look at me, Erin." I say and wait until she lifts her chin.

"Im sorry that I played in the tub." She says, her lip trembling. She is sorry for playing?

"Erin." I say her name but her gaze stays focused on the ground. "Kid. Look at me." I say quietly. "I am not mad that you were playing. That's why I bought the toys, kid, for you to play with. Next time you take a bath you need to turn the water off when it gets up to this silver circle, okay? That way the water will not overflow."

"Yes, Hank." She says. And before I can say anything else, she runs out of the bathroom and back into her room. I assume she is looking at the books I set on her night table or coloring with the crayons I laid on the desk. But when I enter her room ten minutes later to check on her, my heart drops into my stomach. Standing in the corner is a trembling crying little girl. Why is she standing there like she is in trouble? She looks terrified!

"Erin, Come here." I say, trying to bite back the anger at the people responsible for the excuse of a childhood that she's had. I didn't mean for the words to sound so sharp as they escape from my mouth. Her eyes flash with fear as she slowly walks towards me. I can see her hunched shoulders and shaking body. I want to kick myself as I watch her wince when I reach for her. I pull her up onto my lap and use my finger to gently lift her chin.

"Kid, I told you I wasn't mad. Why were you standing in the corner?" I ask, trying to use a softer voice.

"I…uh…I did bad. I made a mess. I have to be in trouble. I have to stand in the corner and wait for the bad to happen." She says this as though it is fact. She says this without question. I realize that she believes this because in her world this is how things are. Well, things are about to change. I am going to give her a new world.

"Kid, I forgave you for what you did. Do you know what that means?" I ask, watching as confusion clouds her face. When she shakes her head I explain. "Well, you spilled the water and then you said you were sorry. I told you that I wasn't mad any that next time we would remember to stop the water so it doesn't happen again. Thats it. End of story. I forgive you. That means that we forget about it and move on. You said you were sorry and I said everything is okay. You are not in trouble, kid. Do you understand?"

"I think so. Am I ever going to be in trouble?" Her innocent question makes me smile.

"Probably someday, kid, but not today. Now, lets go make some breakfast." I say, standing her up and taking her hand, leading her to the kitchen.

Later that afternoon, I am sitting on the back deck watching her run around the yard. This kid has a ton of energy. I pull out my phone and give Olinsky a call.

"Hey, I am bringing her into the office tomorrow. Until we have her father in the cage I am not leaving her at school or with anyone I don't know." I listen as he confirms his agreement and I decide that a trip to the store is probably in order.

"Erin, come on, kid. We need to go to the store." I call, gesturing her to come inside. I help her change out of her dirty clothes she had been playing in and into something clean. Then, heading into the bathroom I pull out the package of hair things that Antonio said I'd need. There are little bands of every color, metal clips, and several girly bows. I have no idea how to do this. I look at the light brown hair in front of me. It cant be that hard right? I run my hands through her hair pulling it all into one central spot. Twisting the rubber band into place, I smile at my handiwork. There are a few bumps but overall it looks like all the female's ponytails I've seen. I close my eyes and try to imagine what Camille's ponytail used to look like. I look at the fluffy bands that have the ribbons on them. I lift Erin up onto the counter and wait for her approval

"I want one of these." She says pointing to the hair bows. "I have never had a pretty hairband like that."

"Okay." I say, picking the yellow one that matches the yellow shirt she has on. I twist the ribbon filled rubber band into her hair and sigh with relief that this part is over. "Come on, we need to go to the store."

We walk outside and I remember the car seat. After a few minutes of swearing at the amount of tape and plastic the damn thing is packaged in, I get the car seat out of the box and into the car. Then I realize that I have no idea how to install it. I try for a few minutes before I finally take the instructions Erin has tried several times to hand to me. Another twenty minutes and I finally have the seat installed and we are finally on the road.

We walk through the isles of the store loading up the cart. I pick out a few book bags and hold them up for her to choose one. When she does, I toss it into the cart. I head towards the book isle. I hand her five or six coloring books and tell her to pick two of them. After putting the rest back, I toss a package of crayons and markers into the cart too. We pick out several snacks and stuff for sandwiches. Then, heading over the to the toy isles, I try to think of what might keep her entertained in the squad room. We end up with a few barbies and a package of barbie clothes, a baby doll and accessory pack, a kid leap thing tablet and a few educational games that will run me a pretty penny, and a few hot wheels cars. I pray as I hand over two hundred dollars to the cashier that this will be all she needs for a while. Who knew kids were so expensive?

Erin

I do not like this seat. I cant seem to unbuckle the seat belt. I don't understand why I have to sit in this stupid thing. I want to sit in a big kid seat. I cross my arms across my chest as Hank gets out and opens the back door.

"Come on, kid. Lets go inside." Hank says, trying to reach around my arms to unbuckle me.

"I don't want to sit in this seat." I say, refusing to move my arms. "I want to sit in that seat." I say, pointing to the other side of the back seat. Unfortunately, Hank uses that moment to unsnap the buckle. Lifting me out of the seat and placing me on the ground he leans down to look me in the eyes.

"We are going to go into my office. You are going to play with your new toys and behave. You will listen and do as I say. Do you understand?"

I give him a look, but his glare makes me quickly change my mind. Why am I being this stupid? I know what happens when I fight back, but with Hank…it's different. He hasn't yelled at me or hit me or made me go hungry. Will he ever? How hard can I push before he hurts me?

I must not be walking fast enough because before we are even to the front door he picks me up and holds me on his hip. I guess Im not too heavy. I am the smallest girl in my class at school, which I am missing today too. Normally I would be really sad to miss school but Hank lets me eat so I don't mind so much.

Hank sits me down on the floor in his office and hands me my new bag. I am so excited to play with my new toys that I don't even notice when he leaves the room. I am still engrossed in playing with my new barbies when he comes back in and tells me it's lunchtime. I have never had a barbie doll before. I have seen some of the girls in my class have them during show and tell. Hank and I sit at the break room table with the other detectives. Mr. Ruzek tells me that detectives are super policemen because they get to wear real clothes to catch the bad guys. The day is over before I know it and Hank says it's time to go home.

The rest of the week passes much the same. By Friday we have settled into a decent routine. I play and stay in the intelligence office at work and then we go home and I get to help make dinner. There was one day that they all had to go out for a case and I got to go down to Ms. Trudy's desk. That day was pretty fun. She let me spin in her chair. I have gotten to try lots of new foods this week. I am buckling myself into my car seat when Hank says we aren't going home. I have given up fighting Hank on my car seat. I just seemed to frustrate him and I still ended up in the seat anyway. Hank says we are going to the hospital to pick up Jay. I am excited to see him but then another thought pops into my mind.

"Does Jay get to come to your home? Does Jay get to be safe?" I ask him, scared to hear the answer. What if he says no? What if he sends Jay somewhere else? What if he sends me somewhere else?

"Jay will get to come stay with us too. Is that alright with you?" I nod and Hank smiles at me in the mirror. He pulls into the hospital parking lot and I cant get out of my seat fast enough. We go upstairs and I am tugging on Hanks hand so hard that he finally scoops me up into his arms. I am sure that I am the only five year old that gets carried. But as I think about this I realize that its not true. All the little girls who come to kindergarten with pretty dresses and bows in their hair have mommies and daddies who pick them up from school. Their daddies pick them up like Hank holds me. Maybe Hank could be my daddy. His home is much better than the home where my mother and father live.

Antonio meets us in Jays room and he takes me out while Hank signs the paperwork for Jay to leave. I help Antonio carry the bags with clothes for Jay to Hank's car. I watch as he installs Jay's car seat a whole lot faster than Hank buckled in mine.

"You should give Hank a lesson on that. It took him forever to put mine in the car." I say, and I giggle when he laughs.

I wrap my arms around Jay when he comes out with Hank. He eyes Hank and he looks scared, but he sees me smiling and I tell him that it will be okay. Hank helps us get buckled and then we are driving home. Home? Is it really home, or will we be sent off somewhere else?"


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Jay

I wait until this Hank guy helps me get out of this baby seat. I can't believe I have to sit in this thing. Erin doesn't seem to mind though. She looks really happy. We have never been happy and other than playing on the playground at school, I don't think I have ever seen her smile. Who is this guy and why is he being nice to us? What is the catch?

"Jay, come on! Hank says you have a room too!" Erin says, grabbing my hand and pulling me down the hallway. A room? My own room?

"Calm down, kid." Hank says, putting a hand on her shoulder. "Let him breathe."

I want to laugh as Erin beings to pout. She crosses her arms and sticks out her lip. She looks like the kids at school. The kids that are not like us, the normal ones. Hank leads us down the hall and gestures to a door on the right.

"This room is Erin's, that one is mine, and this one is yours." He says, pushing open the door. There is a bed bigger than I have ever seen. There is a dresser and my eyes widen when Hank pulls the drawers out to show me the clothes he says are mine. My own new clothes? Is this for real? But the best part is the two cars sitting on the floor by my bed. Can I play with them?

I look up at Hank. He is being real nice to us. I don't know why. But Erin seems to really like him so he must be okay.

Hank leaves me in my room and tells Erin she has to take a bath. I sit down on the floor and stare at the toys sitting on the floor. Maybe it's a trick. Maybe he is waiting for me to play with them before he takes them away. I slowly reach my hand out towards the truck. I stop when I hear water splashing and I run to the bathroom as fast as I can. Is Erin in trouble? Is she under the water and cant breathe? What is Hank doing to her? I fling open the bathroom door to see my little sister, covered in bubbles and splashing with plastic animals in the bath water. She isn't hurt at all, although she is making a huge mess.

"Erin, cut it out! You are splashing and playing! You are going to be in big trouble. You know better than this! Please don't make him mad. I just got here." I beg her to stop. I don't want to be hurting again so soon.

"Jay. Hank is nice. He lets me play. He bought me toys, see?" She says, holding up the dolphin she was using to splash the water. "Isn't that right, Hank?" She adds, and I realize that he is standing behind me in the doorway. I don't understand this. She was making a mess and surely that will upset him. He doesn't need to be cleaning up after her. We know better. We know what is expected of kids. We were taught early on that we are to stay out of the way and not bother the grown ups.

"That's right, kid." Hank says with a smile. Then to me he says, "Come on, Jay, lets let Erin finish her bath and we can pick out your pajamas you want to wear tonight." Hank says and I follow him to the room he says is mine. I want to believe Erin that he is nice, but I just don't know if I can. On the other hand, I have never had my own room before. He opens a drawer in the dresser and pulls out several choices. I have never had special clothes to sleep in before. There are super heroes on one pair of shorts and a shirt. Another pair of pajamas has monster trucks on them. I eye him warily and then slowly reach out to grab the pants with the superheroes. I didn't need his help. I can take care of me and Erin. The only reason Erin thinks she needs to takes care of me is because I try to take all the beatings for both of us. I would last as long as I could so that he would tire out beating me and not have any energy left to beat her. I hope that we don't get beaten here.

I follow him back to the bathroom and, after getting Erin out and wrapped up in a towel, he sends her off to find pajamas. He pulls the drain out of the tub and lets the water flow out. Then he turns to me.

"Look kid, I know that you have had a rough time but you are safe here. I will not hurt you and I am not going to let anyone else hurt you. I appreciate you taking care of your sister but you are a kid too and you need someone to take care of you. I am here to do just that." I stare at him, wanting so desperately to believe his words. "Now, do you want bubbles in your bathwater?" He asks, gesturing to the tub that is now filling with warm water. Bubbles? What for?

"Why would I want bubbles in the water?" I ask. I am tired and confused. I don't have the energy to pretend otherwise. Hank smiles at me.

"To play in, kid. Why else would one have bubbles in their bath?" He puts his hand on my shoulder as he stands up. "I will give you time to enjoy your bath. Put your dirty clothes in that hamper. Here is a towel and use that blue bottle of soap to wash your hair. Here are your pajamas to put on after you get out of the tub. Oh, and make sure you drain the water after your bath." Hank closes the bathroom door behind him, leaving me alone for the second time since I got here.

Hank

Erin has been here over a week now and she is starting to relax. Everyday I see a few more smiles and giggles than the day before. She is a funny kid and I am enjoying getting to know her. She still is the toughest little girl I know, but at least she is letting her guard down. I walk into the living room to see her laying on the floor coloring in her coloring book.

"Hey, kiddo." I say, sitting down beside her. "What are you working on?"

"I'm coloring a rainbow pony." She says, pointing to the striped horse on the page. I smile as she hands me a purple crayon. "Here, you can try. She wants a purple tail." I color with her for a while and then warn her that its almost bedtime. She tells me she isn't tired but the yawn that escapes and her drooping eyelids say otherwise.

"Come on, kid, lets go read a story." I say, picking her up off the floor. I grab the stack of picture books off the table and sit down on the couch. Pulling her onto my lap I spread out the books on the cushion next to me. "Which story would you like?" I say, pointing out the choices.

"Oooh, That one." She says, pointing to her current favorite. Its called _The Monster At The End Of This Book_. And it has Sesame Street characters in it. She giggles on each page and I have begun to enjoy the story also. The main character tries to convince you not to turn the page because there is a monster at the end only to find out that he is the monster. She loves it. We are deep into the story and the tickling and laughing that goes along with it when I realize that Jay is sitting on the floor listening to me read.

"Come on up here, Jay. You can look at the pictures if you want." I say, moving the books from beside us so he can sit on the couch too. He eyes me for a moment but curiosity must win out because he slowly climbs up on the couch and I restart the story. He keeps a safe distance for the first few pages. As the story progresses he gets closer so he can see the pictures. By the time we get to the end of the book Jay is laughing right along with Erin. I let Jay pick out another book and we settle in to read another story. I am only halfway through the book when Erin is snoring against my chest. I finish the story and take Erin up to her bed. I tuck her in and go to check on Jay. He is sitting on his bed staring at the cars that are on the floor of his bedroom.

"They are yours, you know. The cars. You can play with them." I tell him, pointing to the cars he is staring at so longingly. I get up off the bed and go sit down on the floor. "Come on, bed time can wait. Let's play cars." Jay gives me a look of disbelief and then he watches me drive one car for all of three seconds before he walks over and sits down across from me. I push the car towards him and watch his face light up. These poor kids, haven't they ever had toys before?

"How long do we get to live here?" Jay asks quietly. "I haven't ever seen Erin so happy."

"I wont let you out of my sight until it's safe." I say, "Ok, bud. You don't have to worry. You're safe now." We play for a while longer and then I get Jay tucked into bed. I sit on the edge of the bed and pat his back. "I'm glad that you're here, kid."

I wake up the next morning to the sound of giggles. Smiling, I get out of bed to go see what they are up to. I find Erin playing with her baby doll riding on top of Jay's car. She pushes the car to Jay and the baby doll topples off onto the floor. Both kids dissolve into giggles and I cant help but chuckle. At the sound of my voice, Jay's eyes flash with fear and his head whips around to meet my gaze. It's moments like these that make me want to take their father out for a little ride and not come back with him.

"Hey, kiddo." I say, sitting down next to him. "You don't have to be afraid. I promise no one is going to hurt you now."

"Yea, well, forgive me if I don't exactly believe you." I can feel the anger pouring from him and I it makes me angry all over again. No child should ever have to go through what these two have.

"That's ok, bud. Its perfectly fine for you to be upset. But I am telling you the truth, bud. I wont hurt you. I wont let anyone hurt you ever again."

We catch the bastard four weeks later hiding out at some mistress's house. I take great pleasure in acquainting the kid's father with the unorthodox methods of Chicago's finest Intelligence department. I want to shoot the man more than anything, but for scum like him there is no greater punishment than life behind bars. We come up with every charge we can possible come up with and throw the book at him. His rights are terminated and I am now faced with what to do with these kids. They have lived with me over a month and during this time we have acclimated into life as a family. I realize as the judge asks me what our intentions are for the minors in protective custody that I have no intention of letting them go. We ask the judge for a 24 hour continuance and I storm out of the courthouse.

"Voight, what are you planning to do?" Alvin asks, coming up behind me and placing a gentle hand on my shoulder. "You knew going into this that you couldn't keep them. This was temporary from the beginning." He tries, as he waves away the district attorney.

"I know. But things have changed. Those kids need a home. I have given them a home. Erin's nightmares are almost nonexistent now. Jay is smiling and laughing and finally being a kid. I can't just send them away!"

"Well, what in the hell are you going to do then." He asks me. And right then, I know. I'm going to become their guardians. Antonio and Olinsky think i'm crazy. Neither of them think I can win with the judge. I am furious but thats safer than worrying about loosing them. I race back to the station where I find Sgt. Platt entertaining them by letting them sort office supplies into containers.

"Hank!" Erin's excited squeal warms my heart. There is no way I can let these two go.

"I missed you too, kid." I wisper into her ear as I wrap her up in a hug.

"Are you two ready to go home?" I ask, setting Erin on my hip and pulling Jay to my side in a hug.

"Yes, Sir." Jays says with a smile. He rushes to put the packages of paper clips and staples back up onto the office shelf.

"Thanks." I nod to Trudy as I usher the kids out the door of the station. There hasn't been any fussing over car seats for weeks. Erin and Jay race to see who can buckle themselves first.

"What's for dinner, daddy?" Erin says from the back seat and I almost wreck the car. Daddy? Where did that come from? I hear Jay suck in his breath and whisper at her across the backseat. Luckily we are in a relatively deserted area and I pull the car over and get them both out of their seats. Sitting them side by side on the trunk of the car I try to compose my thoughts. I have been trying to figure out how to begin this conversation with them but I guess now is as good a time as any.

"Am I…Did I….Am I in trouble?" Erin asks, her lip trembling and tears fluttering on her eyelids.

"Oh, no, kid. You are not in trouble at all. Do you want to stay with me forever?" I say, looking them both in the eyes. "Do you want my house to be your home?"

"I thought it was." Erin says, looking at me with confusion. "I thought you wanted us." She says, looking even more like she is going to cry.

"I do. I do, kid. Jay?" I ask, turning to him. "Do you want to stay with me for good?"

He thinks for a moment and then nods his head. "What happens when you get tired of us and send us away?" His voice is quiet and dejected. Just like it was the first night he was with me.

"That wont happen, bud. I am a man of my word. I keep my word. I told you that I wont let anything happen to you and I am going to honor that."

"So that means that we get to have you, a real daddy." Erin says, not so much a question as a statement. "My friends at school have daddies like you that are nice to them and pick them up and hold them like you hold me." Oh the innocence of a child. If only it were that easy.

"Yep. If you want me, kid." I say, grinning at her and ruffling her hair.

"I want to stay with you." She says smiling at me. We both look at Jay and he smiles shyly after a moment.

"Yea, me too. I want to stay too." Jay says, and I wrap them both up in a hug.


	4. Chapter 4

Jay

Everything goes wonderful for the first two weeks of officially being a family. I am starting to settle into this life with Hank. We have been here for a while but now we are a real family. We started at a new school last week. I really like my new class. Here, I am a normal kid with clean clothes and a cool dad. I have already made several friends in my class. I still cant believe that I get to have my own room with real toys. Hank gave us a list of rules and I cant help but wonder what will happen when Erin breaks one of them. I know she will…eventually. She is behaving pretty good right now, but that can't last too long. What will Hank do? I will try to cover for her but Hank sure doesn't miss much. I am not sure that I can fool him into thinking that it was me. Will he lock us up in the basement? Will he send us away? I don't know what will happen and I have no intention of finding out. I have to make sure she listens and stays out of trouble.

I hear Hank holler at us from the kitchen. We have been helping him with dinner every night. I find Erin playing in her room with the dolls that Hank bought her. She has used shoe boxes and cardboard to make all sorts of furniture for them. I helped her make a bed and Hank even gave us some fabric that we cut up to make blankets for the baby dolls. I am glad that Hank is good to my sister.

"Hey, sis, what's up?" I ask, looking around at the mess she has made. "Come on, lets pick up your toys and then we will go down and help Hank get dinner ready."

"No. I don't want to. I want to play. We have to be in school all day and I just want to play here in my room. Go away, Jay." I sit in awe as my little sister tells me off. She never acts like this. What is she thinking?

"Erin!" I hiss at her, turning to make sure Hank isn't in the doorway and can't hear how crazy she is talking. "What are you thinking? Are you trying to get us in trouble? Hank specifically said how he likes that we help him set the table and get dinner ready. You know exactly what that means. That means we have to do it. Come on, Erin."

"NO!" She yells. I reach for her hand and she pushes me away. "Leave me alone, Jay. I want to play. Hank said I could play!"

"Erin, you know better. We can't just play all day. What if Hank finishes before we get down there to help him." I reach for her armpits and lift my sister up to her feet. "Come on, we are going downstairs."

"No, we are not. I am playing, now leave me alone!" She struggles as I pull her out of her bedroom and into the hallway. What I am not prepared for is her kicking me in the shin.

"Ow!" I yelp and I let her go to lean down and rub my leg. Boy can she kick hard! "Erin. This is silly, you are going to get us in trouble and I am not happy about that." I take one look at my sister and tackle her to the ground. This is the first good place I have ever been. I like my room and my new toys. I like my school and my new teacher. I like that for the first time no one makes fun of me for being the smelly kid or having old clothes. Hank bought us new clothes and I get to shower and brush my hair every day. I like it here and I am not going to mess that up. And I sure am not going to let Erin take this away. I am the big brother and I need to act like it.

Erin is stronger than most girls and is a worthy opponent. She manages to wrestle me onto my back and hits me in the stomach before she is being lifted off of me. After setting Erin on her feet, Hank reaches down and lifts me up to my feet. Standing beside Erin, I hold my breath and Hank kneels down to be on eye level with us.

"What is going on?" Hank asks, his voice as gruff as I have ever heard it. I wince out of instinct but the blow never comes. I hold my breath and slowly peel open my eyes. He doesnt look like he is going to hit us. I resist the urge to raise my arms up to protect my head.

"I um…I was trying to get Erin to pick up and come help with dinner, but she….she said…" I falter not able to say the words to get her in trouble. I wouldn't wish that on anyone. "It's my fault." I say quickly, shaking my head, deciding that I need to protect her. "I tackled her and messed up her toys, she didn't do anything." I glare at Erin, praying that the beating is quick.

"Erin, is that true" Hank asks, looking her in the eyes. She is standing there, arms crossed, and pouting. She looks from Hanks questioning face to the fear flashing across my own. I watch as she shrugs. "Words, Erin." He says, "Is that true, Jay's account of events?"

"If Jay says so we have to believe it right? I mean I am supposed to always do what Jay says. Isn't that what having an older brother is for, daddy?" Erin says and I want to reach across the small space and shove her again. What is she thinking? Is she trying to get us kicked out of here? I like it here. I don't want to have to leave. I don't like the look Hank keeps giving us. I can tell he is mad. What I don't know is what is going to happen to us.

"Not necessarily. All I care about is the truth. I don't really care who tells it." Hanks words make a knot of guilt rise up in my stomach. I try to stand still and hold up under his gaze but I can feel myself fidgeting. How does he know that isn't the truth? Hank places his hands on my upper arms and pulls me to him. "Jay, look at me, bud." His fingers are burning into my arms even though his touch is gentle and soft. The look on Hank's face isn't as angry as I thought, it's more….sad. And that is confusing.

"Hank, I…" I begin, not sure if I trust this man enough to tell on Erin. His eyes bore into my own. I can tell that he is going to wait for me to tell him. And some how, I know that he can see right through my lies. "I do not want to get Erin into trouble." I whisper. As soon as the words are out of my mouth I squeeze my eyes shut. I can't bear to watch Hank punish Erin. I wait and wait, but hear nothing. Slowly I peel one eye open. Hank is still kneeling in front of me. I look at him in confusion and surprise.

"Jay, look at me." He says gently in his gruff voice. "I am not going to hurt either of you. I would never, ever beat either of you. I won't promise that you will never get a sharp smack to your bottom if you ever put yourself in danger, but it wont be the beating you are expecting. But right now I want to know what happened to cause my two favorite kiddos to start a wrestling match in my hallway."

"I heard you call for us to come help with dinner and I went into Erin's room to get her. She was playing and refused to come help. I told her it wasn't an option, tried to drag her downstairs, and you walked into that." I say softly, resigned to the fact that someone was going to be in trouble. Boy, Hank sure doesn't back down.

"Ok, let me explain something right now. Jay, it is my job to take care of you two. I am the grown up. I know that you two have had to take care of each other a lot but now you have me. That means that you don't have to worry anymore. I wont let anything happen to you. All you have to do is follow the rules and do what you are told and you will be happy here. Can you do that, bud? Can you let me take care of you? It's your turn to relax and be a kid."

I listen to what he is saying and it all sounds too good to be true. I have always had to protect Erin. It was always my responsibility to keep her safe. I like the idea of not always having to do everything.

"Yes, Hank. I can try to do better." I say with a nod.

"Just enjoy being a kid, okay?" He says as he stands up and pulls me into a hug. "Now, Jay, can you go downstairs and set the table for me please? I need to talk to your sister."

I race down the steps, eager to escape the serious conversation with Hank.

Hank

I send Jay off down the stairs and turn to face a pouting five year old little girl. Her arms crossed and one leg propped up against the wall. She looks more like a sullen teenager than a small child. I reach out my hand for hers.

"Come on, kid, we need to talk." I say, leading her into her room. I lift her up on the bed and sit down next to her. I turn to face her and I smile as she slides her feet up under her and turns to face me. For a small kid she can be quite serious. "Erin, you cannot solve all your problems with fighting. Why didn't you want to come downstairs and help?"

"Because I was playing with my dolls. Daddy, you said I could play whenever I wanted to." I bite back a smirk at her comment. If she is this feisty at five what is she going to be like at fifteen? And I seriously think my heart melts every time she calls me daddy. I am going to ruin my tough reputation if she keeps this up.

"And I meant it." I say quickly. "But I do expect you to come when I call you. All you had to do was come down and see what I needed. Then, you could have asked if you could go play until dinner. I would have said that's fine and we wouldn't be having this conversation."

"Seriously?" She asks, looking at me with wide eyes. "I could have just told you I wanted to play? I can do that?"

"Yep. As long as you come when I call you."

"Yes, Sir." She says, "So, can I play now?" I can't help the laugh that escapes. She is definitely going to keep me on my toes.

"Yep. Dinner will be ready in about twenty minutes. Please come down when I call you." I say, watching her smile and hop off the bed. She plops down on the floor and goes right back to whatever doll story she had been in the middle of.

"Okay." She says, her sweet voice returning to it's normal five year old tone. I shake my head as I leave her in her room. This little girl is going to keep me on my toes for sure. What in the world am I going to do with her if she is as stubborn and hard headed as I am?

A few weeks later I am trying to get the kids loaded up to go to the store and Erin has a full blown meltdown. Her first, but I am sure that it won't be her last. This girl sure is stubborn. I go up to her room and remind her that we need to leave.

"Erin, you have five minutes to get your shoes on and come downstairs."

"I don't wanna go, Daddy." Erin says, crossing her arms across her chest and hopping up to sit on her bed. "I am not going." She adds with an air of finality and nods her little chin.

"We are going, kid. End of story. You can make this hard if you want to but we are still going to the store. Now, get your shoes on."

"No, Daddy!" Erin shouts as she spins around to face away from me.

"Erin." I say firmly, trying to reign in my patience. Why does she have to be so damn stubborn? "Why are you throwing a fit about going to the store?" I ask, trying not to sound as mad as I am. She better have a damn good reason for this fit.

"I don't want to. I want to play." She cries, and I almost want to laugh at how pitiful she sounds. I am not going to raise this little girl to be a selfish spoiled brat.

"Erin, you will put your shoes on and be in the car by the time I count to ten. If you are not, there will be consequences. Do you understand me?" I say, trying to give her one last chance to listen to me. I do not want to punish her over this. I don't understand why she has to be so defiant. We just have to run to the store. We would have been back by now and she could be playing already if she would have just listened to me!

"No." I hear her say as I walk out of her bedroom door and begin counting loud enough for the whole house to hear. I walk down the stairs as I get to eight and see Jay standing by the front door with a miserable look on his face.

"Erin's in trouble, isn't she?" He asks, his tone tearing at my heart.

"Yes, son. She is. She cant be so stubborn when I ask her to do something." I say, shaking my head.

"Please don't hurt her." Jay whispers and I feel my heart breaking. I would never harm that little girl! But if her attitude doesn't improve than I will be having a serious discussion with her backside. I look at Jay's small frame. He has grown since he has been here. His body is beginning to fill out to resume a healthy little boy. His eyes are a different matter entirely. They have a deepness to them that can only come from seeing too much in his few years. I have seen a spark to them lately though and I hope to see him become happier in the years to come. I love these two children and although I will punish them when warranted, I will never ever let any permanent harm come to them.

"Come here, Jay." I say, sitting on the edge of the coffee table and patting the couch in front of me. I wait until he sits down in front of me and I look him in the eyes. "You are going to be seven next month and I am going to have a serious discussion with you. You need to remember that I will never let anyone hurt you the way your biological parents did. I swore that I would protect you and I am going to do just that. But there are going to be times when I have to protect you from yourself. I am going to teach you how to be a responsible and respectable person. Erin is stubborn and sometimes that is going to get her into trouble with me. Kid, this is a normal part of childhood. I would be concerned if she didnt test me. But Erin knows the rules and so do you. She might not want to admit it but she knows her behavior right now is out of line. Do you agree?"

I watch as Jay lowers his head and nods. "But Hank, why can't she just listen to you?" He asks, shaking his head. "If she would have just put her shoes on and listened she wouldn't be in trouble."

"I know, kid, I asked myself the same question." I say, patting his knee. "Jay, I want you to go into my study and you can play a game on my computer. You know that star thing that you have been playing at school?" I ask, fumbling for the name of that educational website that his teacher sent home information about last week.

"Cool." He grins, jumping up. "Thanks Hank."

I nod at him and slowly head back up the stairs to deal with my stubborn little girl. I walk into her room to see her playing with her dolls. She doesn't look the least bit upset and that makes me even more upset with her.

"Come here, Erin." I say, sitting down on the edge of her bed. She eyes me warily and then slowly stands up and walks over to me. I kiss her forehead and pull her up to sit on my lap.

"Am I in trouble, Daddy?" She asks, looking up at me with a tentative glance.

"Yep." I say, nodding. "But you already knew that didn't you?" When she nods I continue. "Why didn't you listen to me when I asked you to put your shoes on and get in the car?"

"I don't know, Daddy, I just want to play." She says shrugging her shoulders.

"You have to listen to me, Erin. I am the grown up. I am the boss." I say gently. I bite back a smile as a look a defiance flashes across her eyes.

"Maybe I want to be the boss!" She says, a little too loudly. "I want to be in charge. Then I could play all day!" She says crossing her arms and looking me straight in the eyes. I have a mental image of her at 16 saying this to a teacher at school, or at 21 to her boss and I know that I have to stop this attitude.

"Erin, you listen to me. You are going to obey me and that is final. I am the boss and that is final. You will listen to me or your life will get a lot more difficult. I expect you and your brother to be respectful and obedient…" I say and I get nothing else out before she interrupts me.

"No!" She says hopping off my lap. "I don't want to listen to you."

I grab her arm and pull her face down across my lap. "You are going to listen and obey, Erin. Little girls are supposed to listen to their parents." I say, swatting her bottom just hard enough to get her attention. I pepper a few swats on the lower half of her bottom before she finally dissolves into sobs.

"Daddy, I'm sorry I didnt listen to you!" She cries and I immediately stop and pull her up into my arms. Her arms snake around my neck and I hold her close. I snuggle her into my neck and soothe her tears.

"Me too, kiddo. You have to listen, okay?" I say softly, rubbing her back.

She pulls away and looks up at me. "Yes, daddy." She says with a nod. I hold her for a few minutes and then set her down.

"Go get your shoes on and meet me and your brother in the car." I say again, hoping that she is going to listen this time around.

"Yes Sir!" She says, running over to her closet. It was only about 6 swats but it killed me to have to punish her. I just hope that I never have to do that again. I shake my head as I head down to check on Jay and get him into the car.


End file.
